2011
Once again we are sitting in front of a new year thinking about what happened in the year prior and wondering what the new year holds for us. I didn't really do resolutions last year and I'm not really planning on doing any this year. Sure I have goals for 2011 but I'll take them on one by one. One major goal for me is getting the kitchen done. Our little do it ourselves project has been put on the back burner for far to long. It is so easy to just ignore it since we have a working kitchen, but I am done ignoring it.
Another immediate goal I have is to get in shape. Getting in to shape doesn't mean I have to meet a weight goal, but I want to be more healthy. I have already started working out at Dancers Shape, and it is going well! I have consistently gone twice a week during all of December. I have seen a little difference in my shape, a little less giggle. I have another month pass to Dancers Shape and I plan on making the best of it!
I hope everybody had a wonderful New Years Eve! Here are some funny sayings and jokes to bring laughter to your 2011
New Years Eve toasts:
Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.
Benjamin Franklin
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"
We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.
Ellen Goodman
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
Author Unknown
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
Joey Adams
Benjamin Franklin
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"
We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.
Ellen Goodman
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
Author Unknown
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
Joey Adams
New Years Jokes
A young man at a New Year’s party turns to his friend and asks for a cigarette.
'I thought you made a New Year’s resolution to quit smoking,' his friend says.
'I'm in the process of quitting,' the man says.
'Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.'
'What's phase one?'
'I've quit buying.'
On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.
'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.
'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically.
'My wife,' slurred Daniel grimly.
Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?'
'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Max smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'.
New Year's Resolutions by Fido
A young man at a New Year’s party turns to his friend and asks for a cigarette.
'I thought you made a New Year’s resolution to quit smoking,' his friend says.
'I'm in the process of quitting,' the man says.
'Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.'
'What's phase one?'
'I've quit buying.'
On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.
'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.
'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically.
'My wife,' slurred Daniel grimly.
Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?'
'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Max smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'.
New Year's Resolutions by Fido
I will not bark each time I see or hear a dog on TV.
I will not steal underwear belonging to my mistress and then dance all over the back yard with it.
I will not chew red crayons or pens, because my master will think that I am hemorrhaging.
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
I must shake the rainwater out of my coat BEFORE I enter the house.
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