Dear Electricity,

Why oh why did you have to go out today? Didn't you know that I was cooking a pot roast in the crock pot? When you decided to fail me, you ruined my dinner. Damn You. I thought I would come home to the house smelling wonderful and dinner ready for us to eat but NOOOOO you selfish bitch. You had to go out which caused the crock pot to turn off after cooking for a few hours leaving me a hunk of half cooked meat. You owe me dinner, I wont forget.

Sincerely,

Ms. I had to eat a frozen pizza for dinner.